chapter one: now

let’s us go then you and i when the night is spread out against the sky like a patient etherized upon a table.  let us go now into the moment that is here & now.  let us look upon the great and small things of the universe and spell out for all to see what it is that you are craving.

do you know?  can you say with any certainty that you have an idea of what you want?  i am not able to, yet!  i am not able to shut off the egoic idea that is my person and know what it is that i am wanting in the moment.  mostly when i try to shut down my mind i find a desire to be young and handsome and able to be sexually attractive to who ever i am fantasizing about.  i think that if i were to have the prowess that i would never need another thing.  i am like eve in the garden who believed that if she could have what was the forbidden fruit than she would possess everything that she needed to be a god herself; but even god was bored and needed to create man in order to appease his wandering restless mind.

do we believe that we are created in the image and likeness of god?  does that not make us god.  I AM!

i think of what i want at this moment and i can see that i want my mind to stop and that i would like to rest, very much the way god did on the seventy day.  i would like to put my head against a pillow and feel completely satisfied.

i can not remember the last time that that happened.  i can not remember the last time that i felt at-one-ment with the world and with myself and with my god.  it may never have happened more that a very few times in my entire life.  it may never have happened at all.

but if it did it involved a very handsome man and a very passionate experience and a totally exhausting bout of sexual pleasure followed by a deep restful sleep undisturbed by dreams or desires.

what is this place in the human heart where there is a moment of perfection.  the place is not a location, rather it is a time.  it is time and not space that orients one to the now experience.  if you are to follow yourself into a moment of joy you must abandon the idea of space and of things and instead enter the idea of timelessness.

timelessness is the key to entering the moment.  the moment is not defined by parameters, the moment is the totality of consciousness and as such it is not a location.  it is everything, it is oneness with all that is–with sound and sight and smell and sensations inside and outside of the body.  the moment of now is eternal–timeless and can only be accessed by abandoning all that up til now we have thought to be important…

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